How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
