I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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