omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
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