But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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