It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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