Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
