i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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