I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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