yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
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