Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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