I want to stick my p in your. b.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize