I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
