He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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