Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
we should paint friendship bongs
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
