she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
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