Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize