yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
