My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
