my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
