drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
