me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
