ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
