But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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