I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
