Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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