its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
