i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
