also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
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