Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized

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(847): View more from Illinois

I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.

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(515): View more from Iowa

I wish facebook had a fuck off button.

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(248): View more from Michigan

My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks

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(585): View more from New York

at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place

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(765): View more from Indiana

I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.

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(630): View more from Illinois

Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it

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(250): View more from British Columbia

sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone

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