I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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