I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
