I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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