The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
