How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
