I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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