yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
