do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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