some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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