I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
