well I can't set my house on fire every night
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
