So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
