I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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