I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
