alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
