You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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