i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Send help, water and tortillas.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
