just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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