Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
