The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
