Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
