No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
