Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
