I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
