i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
