Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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