Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
