too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
This toilet bowl is my home.
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