Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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