i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
