I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
