Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
